Stuff I've learned

Yesterday, I learned friends of mine have received some challenging news. It reminded me of my experiences of three years ago, my then husband was having an affair and our marriage ended. I was devastated. I can relate to how my friends feel. Loss, grief, despair, betrayal, rejection.

Now, I have just returned from the most amazing 2 weeks of Yoga training - 2 weeks by myself, doing what I love to do with like-minded individual. I am reunited with my beautiful child - the result of that marriage. I am in love with my life.

About a week ago, in Savasana, my teacher said, "Think of a challenging circumstance you have experienced in the past. Notice how it now seems like a dream..... Now is just another dream."

I hope I remember this thought, it let's me hold it all a little more lightly.

Home again

Returning home is bittersweet.
I miss my Colorado home already. The splendor of the mountains. (memories)
Home has the splendor of the ocean and cool breeze. (senses)

Dog hair everywhere - how does that happen when the dog hasn't been here. (expectation)
Reality?
What is real?
Sitting at a computer typing.
Even in this moment I am setting the stage for the next moment. Time to get skillfully in action.

Prana

The sun rises and heat begins to warm the air. The energy builds with the arrival of more and more Yogis. The chaos flutters about the room as people settle in. The teacher arrives, energy settles onto each mat. Expectation fills the space. The words flow over me with a catches of understanding.

The practice begins; the movement of energy, finding breath, cultivating stillness, surrendering, in the pose, stillness in the mind and the heart. Opening from solid ground. Truly a science, an alchemy of momentum, physiology, psyche and emotion, pulling away the pieces of the story and coming to oneself.

Flow

Desire - a wanting of something. Desire then, inherently means that there is a sense of something missing or of loss or that something is wrong with the way things are.

Lately, I have discovered that when I shift my focus to all that I am grateful for, the desires slip behind all that the world holds right now; the beauty of what is.

Lovely really and so simple. Just need to keep coming back.

Intending and then letting it go

Last night, I had dinner with neighbors. They were busy, trying to fix something for me I was not concerned with. They were so consumed with offering, but I was content to just chat. I was fascinated to just watch, notice and realize. They had trouble connecting to what was important to me. Their focus was on what was important to them.

Sometimes when I write this blog, I focus more on how it will be perceived, rather than the message I want to offer. Funny way to do things - we can't make anyone like or dislike anything, be happy or sad. And yet we think we can.