More than Breathing

Yesterday I shared someone's article that indicated addiction is the result of a lack of connection. This article struck me profoundly. Last fall, my son left home to embark on a new adventure at boarding school. I was suddenly living alone. I had not lived alone since 198? A long time.

It was a long hard winter; in fact the worst in over 50 years.
I had reprieves... the Wednesday evenings I spent hours with the beautiful souls in teacher training and the long weekends we practiced and learned together. The colder the days, the more snow, the more I felt buried in self-pity. My eating habits digressed, I drank more wine and watched TV than I usually do and I stopped walking my dogs further than a fifteen minute jaunt. I became depressed and less and less connected to others and myself.
It was a negative cycle that was swirling toward addiction.
I am fortunate. I have a spiritual practice. Although my practice suffered, it never stopped. And I knew I needed to do something.
I reached out. I made a plan to see my teacher. I sat in the light of all those fabulous souls that believe in something beyond what we see and feel. I connected to great hearts and I my heart began to come alive again. I became re-inspired. I stopped TV. I stopped the eating. I started walking the dogs. I went climbing.
Although the fears and doubts remain, I feel more joy and possibility because of the love of those around me.
As you go out today, remember to love those around you. Remember they may be struggling with a darkness you cannot see. And if you are struggling, look for the bright souls that invite you to connect.